I love bad movies. I mean I REALLY REALLY love bad movies. From the terrible acting and subpar scripting to the cheesy special effects and shoddy camera work, bad movies are some of the best WORST things to indulge in.

I am not one of those individuals who harbors a massive DVD collection filled with nothing but cinematic classics and thought provoking TV-specials. Come over to my pad and expect to find a chaos of “cult classics” such as C.H.U.D. and Wax Works II.  Troma films? They’ve earned a special place in my heart.

And you know what? Sometimes one just needs to come home from a loooong day of work to such visual catastrophes about man-hunting eye balls or 12 inch murderous dolls with some serious battle skills. Good for the soul or something.

So I wanted to start this first  of many to come  articles focusing on flicks out there that are soooo bad they’re  good. If you haven’t seen them – you’re totally missing out.

Trolls 2:

Trolls 2 is the epitome of a hot mess. Originally called “Goblins” – the film’s name was eventually retitled to ride on the coat tails of of 1986′s Trolls (a fabulous movie mind you) – despite the fact the entire film didn’t have one single Troll. Not one.

But whats better than false advertising? The monsters of course! The goblin-esque creatures of this flick are vegetarians. Who eat people. Exactly. And in order to validate this absurdity – they must first turn their human-meals into plants. Meat is evil – according to a sermon hosted by the goblins (seriously) – but meat turned foliage is totally kosher.

Totally.

And need I mention this whole fiasco takes place in a town called Nilbog. Which when read backwards – is still a ridiculous name for a town. I mean c’mon.

Magic stones. Time fluxing Grandpas. Severed body parts. Inappropriate urination. Corn. Non-stealthy goblins in disguise.

I could keep going – but you really need to witness this train wreck of amazing yourself.

Slugs:

I have to credit a good friend Loren here in order to sum up the sheer ludicrousness of this movie –

“Man in garden. Man puts on glove.  Slug’s eats man’s hand – HOUSE EXPLODES”.

Seriously.

The basic plot goes something like this. People are dying (shocking) – some cat figures out why (ie: Slugs), and nobody believes him. It takes a British slug expert to give this kid his street cred – but meanwhile mayhem and bloody chaos ensues. And I mean bloody. Almost to the point of absurdity – which only makes this flick even better.

Insert some nonsense about killer goats, hamster munching scenes, MORE explosions (including FACES), toxic waste and half naked teenagers and you have yourself a CLASSIC.

Possibly not your thing? Check out the whole movie in jusssst about 4 minutes below. But seriously – rent it. If only for the MST3King possibilities.

Poultrygeist:

Since I mentioned Troma flicks earlier – I thought I’d throw this one into the mix for Part I of this series. Simply because its disturbingly awesome. The acting is crude. The plot is at BEST may be the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever seen. But the sheer amount of sickeningly shocking scenes – and the fact that yes, this is a musical filled with naked lesbian protesters makes this a must’nt miss classic.

Basically it unravels like this – a friend chicken chain run by what resembled the drunken step brother of Colonial Sanders, opens up a new store riiighhht over an Indian burial ground.

Prime real estate right? Sorta. If you don’t mind zombie chickens, oozing burgers, were-chickens and crapping football size eggs. The last half hour of the film is literally non-stop over the top blood, guts, mucus and raunchiness.

Its hysterical, TERRIBLE, and totally revolting.

(NSFW by any means )

Keep and eye out for more Best of The Worst posts – but until then, what are some of your favorite terribly awesome films and why?

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