Its that time again – more best of the worst horror films coming at’cha. For part III - lets focus on flicks that have animals as the main protagonist. Because nobody wants to be a speciesist right?
The Rage
Robert Kurtzman is a special effects genius. So it goes without saying that this film has a lot of really – really well done gore. It is however slightly eclipsed by a subpar plot, questionable acting, and horribly rendered 3D vultures. That’s right – flesh eating virus spreading giant vultures that totally make the one from the original Clash of the Titans look like a kitten (forgive us Ray Harryhausen).
The plot goes something like this.
A totally off his rocks Russian doctor (with an incredible back story) decides it’s a super awesome idea to play with a virus that infects humans and turns them into mutants. Mutants, who happen to love to kill. Good plan so far. Well as all things biological in horror films – it gets out.
From vulture puppets to CGI rendered birds of DOOM and enough blood to keep your attention, it is a serious cheesefest that just BEGS to be watched. Oh, did I forget to mention the constantly deforming mad scientist has a MUTANT MIDGET side kick that likes to rip people’s faces off and wear them? No? My bad.
Creatures from the Abyss
What happens when you put a bunch of goofy teenagers with epic 80′s hair on a boat? They run out of gas of course. And then they find a “deserted” research ship. Oh yeah, which happen to has deadly flying radioactively altered fanged fish on it.
That right there is enough to make it a fantastically bad movie. But it gets better. When consumed or attacked – the victims turn. Caviar pours from crotches, slimy tentacles start popping out where tentacles don’t belong (unless your into that stuff), eyeballs get ingested and full mutations = stop motion WIN.
The Food of the Gods
Know what you should NOT do when giant food starts growing randomly out of the ground? Consider it a gift from god and feed it to your chickens. That’s totally what happens here – and where there are chickens, there are rats, and wasps, and worms. Who then grow to ridiculous proportions and KILL YOU.
Hands down the giant chickens are the most hysterical part of the film. The special effects are haggard, but the bizarreness of it all makes it hard to turn away from.
Night of the Lepus
The movie opens with ranches and farms being overrun by oversexed and hungry rabbits. Cue Scientist’s arrival and his brilliant decision of injecting said rabbits with mutated blood that will certainly stop them from getting it on.
Does it work? Nah. Instead they grow to the size of rottweilers and start consuming horses, men, and cows. The national guard comes. THINGS EXPLODE.
The only real good thing about this film is its complete absurdity. I mean they actually use live rabbits and play with camera angled and itty-bitty sets to make them look MONSTROUS. And it doesn’t exactly hurt that Star Trek’s Dr. McCoy and Psycho’s Marion Crane are in it. Hey, all actors have to have a black sheep film somewhere right? (But not the one from New Zealand. That’s actually a GREAT film).
Check out Part I here, and Part II here.
I saw Food of the Gods in the theater when I was younger (yes, much younger). Still love it!
As for The Rage, well, it has Andrew Divoff, which automatically makes it awesome! In a crappy way, of course.
I wanted to like The Rage so very badly. Andrew Divoff was appearing on the tv show LOST at the time that was released on DVD, and i loved his character on it. (I’m a rabid LOST fanatic… *ahem*.) But man oh man… what a crapfest. Maybe i would enjoy watching it MST3K-style with friends, but i could barely tolerate it while alone.
Food of the Gods, i MUST see tho. MUST SEE
Awwww no Frakenhooker ??
Soon!