Boris the Bloody’s Marathon of the (Un)Dead Part II

I enjoy marathons. Not the running kind. But the sitting on my ass and staring at the TV screen kind? Totally my style. For my birthday this year, I refused to leave the house and just watched zombie flicks (or at least some claiming to be as such). Check out the first article in this two part review: Boris the Bloody’s Marathon of the (Un)Dead.

Zombie Women of Satan (2009)

So bad, it’s good or terrifyingly terrible? Well, the opening burlesque sequence had me hoping for something exciting. Boy, was I wrong. Between cuts of a weird sex cult, daddy creepo making zombies, really bad make-up, and less-than stellar FX, this wannabe cult classic fails. A ‘B’-movie? More like a ‘D’ if you enjoy the humor. But for me it was an ‘F.’

I did not find the many pairs of breasts offensive nor the fact that the plot was strained and shallow. But the overall movie was incredibly offensive to me. I enjoy some good ol’ toilet humor on occasion but this wasn’t enjoyable. Too slow. Too convoluted. Too much misogyny. And very poor quality filmmaking. The flick has a few comedic moments, but they are really few and far between. I mostly just sat and stared at my TV screen all WTF?

There’s no reason to analyze this film further. And I can’t recommend it unless you are… not in your proper state of mind. Waste. of. my. life. Verdict: Terrifyingly Terrible. The spoof flick Transylmania was better than this and I didn’t enjoy that film either.

Doghouse (2009)

Imagine the Hangover or Wedding Crashers… but British… and with vicious zombirds. A group of stereotypical dudes from London – each different but brought together through a long-time group friendship. There’s the macho “women love me” douche, the comic nerd, the token gay man, the escapist environmental “smart” dude, the married “bro” dude, and the recently divorced/heartbroken decent guy.

Recently divorced guy needs an uplifting guys’ weekend . . . so to married “bro” dude’s grandmother’s house we go! Grandmother’s house is in an obscure village called Moodley where the women outnumber the men 4-1. But? All the men are gone!!! After a military dude joins the group, things degenerate quickly.

Turns out ALL women in the village turned into brilliant pissed-off man-hating cannibals. Don’t like English humor? Don’t like zombies? Don’t like campy “dude” movies? Then this isn’t your type of flick. But it is a film I enjoyed – for all of those elements and more.

Yeah, it was campy – in the end you’re left with the feeling “boys will be boys.” But it was a cheeky fun flick filled with noticeable Evil Dead and other zombie homages. Doghouse was an enjoyable romp that used cliches and familiar undead tropes to create a humorous adventure.

Then my marathon took a turn for the worst.

I sat through Isolation (2005 – not a zombie flick but rather a bovine-based creature feature) and most of Terror Inside (2009a flick that wanted to sneak its way into the undead genre but failed). Isolation was far more enjoyable of the two but that’s not saying much.

Not including the last two cinematic failures in the “zombie-themed” marathon - three worth-watching zombie flicks out of four isn’t too shabby!

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About Boris

Boris enjoys reading, writing, traveling, performing, roller derby, and costuming in addition to immersing herself in a variety of horrific worlds via literature, art, video games, comics, music, haunted attractions, and cinematic adventures. From zombies to slashers, creature features to B-movies, and psychological thrillers to supernatural stories, Boris is into many different subgenres of horror.