The Devil’s Rejects – An Exercise in Freewriting

Have you ever loved a movie so much you can barely speak about it intelligently?  You’re reduced to primal grunting?  *want movie, like movie, movie good* Yeah, me too. Instead of trying to come up with some academic genius about why I find The Devil’s Rejects so absolutely brilliant – I thought I’d give you a peak into my subconscious.  I took fingers to keyboard and typed the thoughts in my head as I enjoyed viewing #50 of Rob Zombie’s masterpiece.

This contains oodles of SPOILERS, so if that’s not your thing – stop reading now.  Otherwise, enjoy!  In the middle of all of this drivel there was even room for some genuine musings.  Maybe?


  • Warm tones, sepia – gritty.  Very 70’s.  Dead girls.  Full frontal nudity, but no “HOORAY!“… she’s dead, man.

    "Dontcha love clowns?? Aren't we fuckin' FUNNY!?!??!

    Dontcha love clowns?? Aren't we fuckin' FUNNY!?!??!

  • Firefly family’s masks in gunfight repeated in Halloween.  Didn’t notice before… did I?
  • These cops are arrogant, abusive assholes.
  • Sherry’s sexy buttcrack.  Or is it Sherry Moon?  *shrug*  Great ass.
  • Music is an excellent match – southern rock.  Perfect perfect perfect.  I hated this shit growing up, now I can’t get enough.
  • Photos lead cops to local semi-celebrity Captain Spaulding, who is screwing a whore.  Dirty scene, balls are glimpsed.  Sid Haig’s balls.  Gross.
  • Lots more nudity. Gross teeth. Gross Gross Gross. HAHAHAHA “spastic mongoloid” – that poor, needy slob.
  • Charlie’s whorehouse… OMG E.G. Daily from Valley Girl and 80’s stuff!  Back when Nic Cage wasn’t a tool, hooray!
  • Oh, these poor, poor bastards with their broken down van or whatever. You know, Priscilla Barnes is kinda awesome between this and Mallrats.  I bet she’s fun to sit & talk with.
  • Victims are engaged, easily – Baby uses her sex appeal. Even her creepy-coy girlie giggle doesn’t sway the old coot.  Great scene – while Baby looks the part of the average victim, she’s the predator and he’s the prey.  She reduces the guy to shy “aww, shucks” boyhood.
  • Ambush of victims is harsh, violent.  More full frontal nudity, and ooooh – a nasty public headshot.  Foreshadows the ugliness ahead.
  • ROFL -Spaulding punches out PJ Soles’ protective mom.  I shouldn’t be laughing… WHY AM I LAUGHING!??!
  • Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, I’m thinking of Connor.
  • Otis is Shakespeare returned as Jack the Necrophiliac Ripper.  His words are quoted by many because he’s so goddamn funny.  Yet he’s horrible… he’s a vile creature that we should not be laughing at or revering.  It seems to be the point of the whole movie – Baby, Otis, and Captain Spaulding were such interesting and beloved characters (in House of 1,000 Corpses) that they deserved their own film.  Devil’s Rejects plays on this as a sequel – showing the truth of the trio’s malevolent, unrepentant existence.  Making us laugh and *almost* root for them in the end anyway.  Brilliant!
  • Baby is smoking hot.

    Baby is smoking hot.

    Otis humiliates Barnes, it’s an ugly scene no matter how many times I’ve seen it.  Somehow it helps knowing that Bill Moseley notoriously had trouble filming it – did not like what he had to do in the scene as it was being filmed.

  • Film is not without its flaws.  Mama Firefly is played a little too wacky for my tastes… time has not made me like the performance any better.
  • Sheriff is a scumbag.  With one scene we almost root against him. Almost.
  • Rule for Life:  Don’t ever go anywhere with a known killer.  Not ever – you won’t be coming back, you’re being taken to your grave.
  • Pukey southern-hippie goes down fighting, didn’t see that coming.  No matter how many times I’ve seen it, I always forget that the wussie hippie turns hero.
  • *Hair pulled out off face* *Otis-stare* “I am the Devil.  And I am here to do the Devil’s work.” Me = *chills*
  • Baby mentally, emotionally tortures the ladies – she’s a cruel brat.  They try to escape and she throws a knife into Barnes’ heart. Nice shootin’ Tex, but awww.  *sad*
  • “Daddy, stop that bitch!” *kapow* *final-girl out*
  • More terrifying of the poor victim, Otis even puts her dead husband’s face over hers like a a mask (Masks again? Hmmm).
  • That body and insides spread 25+ feet down the asphalt is still really nasty.
  • Tutti Fuckin’ Frutti!!! These scumbags make me laugh.
  • Danny Trejo!
  • Sheriff’s got issues, and Leslie Easterbrook’s teeth are too bright.  They’re distracting.

    Otis is Shakespeare returned as Jack the Necrophiliac Ripper

    Otis is Shakespeare returned as Jack the Necrophiliac Ripper

  • No, but seriously, the music is amazing and Ken Foree rocks my face off.
  • You’ve never witnessed an argument about chicken fuckin’ until you’ve seen this film.  Michael Berryman goes off and it’s the funniest thing  in the history of ever.
  • The nice little, calm trippy brothel scene is interrupted by the treachery of ‘friends’ and the over-the-edge Sheriff. Sheriff binds, drugs, and then tortures the three.  Then he monologues about how crossing the line is required in cases like theirs, stapling victim photos on their chests – repeatedly.
  • Bickering ‘family’ comes together in the scene – caring at least about each other if no other living creatures on Earth.  And with Crayzee Cop going all Cageian… your loyalties waver.  Seriously, gahdammit – quit hurting Baby!
  • Otis’s hands are nailed to his torture chair – mild religious symbolism. Much more in House.  *shrug*
  • Problem is… in all of his craziness, the Sheriff’s words to terrorize Baby are true – she IS a bad person and she should feel badly about it.
  • Tiny saves the day, then sacrifices himself – dare I say Tiny is kinda noble?  Had Tiny realized his family needed to cease to be?
  • Ahhh… that dusty, blue convertible and it’s dusty, dying passengers.  The police barricade ahead.  The music picks up, resolve on our anti-hero’s faces.
  • You know what’s coming: Defiant Death to Skynard’s FreeBird, my foot starts tapping’ every time.
  • All music stops for the gory, violent deaths.  Roll credits.
  • Wow.

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About De7en

Don't let the day job fool you, this computer consultant knows the Ooky Spooky. De7en was weaned by Jaws, suffered through puberty with Carrie, and tore into adulthood hand-in-glove with Freddy. From foreign frights and classic cuts to gallons of gore and more extreme fare, De7en is always ready to dig into something fresh.