Hell-evision: American Horror Story – Episode “Birth”

 WARNING:  This is a synopsis of FX’s American Horror Story Episode: Birth.  Spoilers Abound!!!

Well, so much for all that hoping that Vivien would make it out alive and exact some revenge on her shit-head of a husband, Ben.  Maybe we’ll see some of that vengeance in “After-Birth” next week.  Or maybe vengeance isn’t on the menu for Vivien at all.  Either way, ding dong the bitch is dead.

Vivien died after giving birth to her twins in The House, in an excruciatingly long birth scene.  While screaming about the baby “ripping me apart!”  ACK!  One of the babies was apparently stillborn, although that was definitely left open-ended considering original-homeowner Nora walked away with the baby, cooing softly to it.  The other was born alive, with Moira and Constance looming over it in awe – evidently it’s the most perfect, beautiful baby ever.  We haven’t seen it yet, but it didn’t look like it had cloven hooves.  Was Billie the Psychic making this up too – is there no AntiChrist Superstar baby?

Dead Girls Can't Ride in Cars

Dead Girls Can't Ride in Cars

Before the last 20 minutes came at us viewers in a frenzy, it seemed like AHS had plodded along at the beginning of the episode.  For me, the writers took a little too long and too many liberties with Violet coming clean to her father, Ben.  If your teenage daughter is acting weird already, you don’t keep driving when she disappears from the back seat of your car at a stop light.  You just don’t do that.  Ben did.  Making me even more curious about the guy.  But I’ll give the writers the benefit of the doubt that Ben is more than a little out of his mind.

Maybe I just wanted the show to just get there already.  If they showed one more scene of baby-room painting, I think I would have reverse-Samara’ed and climbed into my TV to smack some Harmons around myself.  Happily, all of the baby-decorating lead to a terrific scene in which the always-entertaining Chad (Zachary – the Man – Quinto) finally told Violet exactly whose baby her Mommy is carrying.  “Hey Newly Dead Girl, Your Dead Romeo Raped your Mommy and Impregnated her with his Evil Ghost Seed.  Oh btw, that baby is coming now and it’s ours too.  Just FYI.”  I heart Chad so much.  Speaking of Chad and Patrick…  I adore Constance.  She’s a wicked survivor, self-centered to a monumental extreme.  But enough with the Gay-Bashing already.  We get it, Ryan Murphy – we know what you’re doing, and it’s appreciated in the grand scheme of things.  But it doesn’t have to be so heavy-handed either – or so regular.  Let’s cut back just wee bit, ok?

When the placenta finally hits the fan… boy, does it.  Violet spills the beans of her death to dear old Daddy Ben.  Finally.  Ben doesn’t have much time to react before he’s thrust into the Ghostly Birthing Room that the House instantly creates for Vivien.  Long corridors filled with candles and everything.  Then Ben goes crazy.  Or maybe he was already crazy.  What did you all think of those strange scenes flashing?  Ben screaming in a corner, images flashing in and out?  Are we being primed for the possible reveal that none of this has actually happened?  That maybe Ben is locked in a looney bin somewhere imagining all of this himself?  I hope not.  I’d be loath to find out that AHS is another “it never really happened” conceit of a TV show.  I dig this House, that it’s almost a “Grudge” type story – so many bad events have led to a Malevolent Presence in the home.   I want to see what else this House can do, and the ghosts in it.  American Horror Story may well be the US answer to the long-running and successful Japanese “Grudge” series (it started on TV, too).

And baby makes... i dunno, what's the count again?

And baby makes... i dunno, what's the count again?

Back to the birth.  Violet had tried to enlist Constance’s help to get rid of the ghosts in the House.  Her goal?  Save her mom’s babies from all of the ghosts in the House with Baby Fever.  Did it work?  Hell no.  Poor Violet still didn’t know that Constance is the bigger threat (or appears to be).   So Constance’s pal pychic Billie’s “Croatoan” spell did absolutely nothing (except make for an amused Chad), although Violet does pick up one handy bit of info from Chad.  “Go away,” it’s as simple as saying those words.  Violet repeatedly tells Tate to GO AWAY after she confronts him with the truth of what he’s done – he’s killed, he’s raped, he’s violated, he’s rotten.  Tate looks on in disbelief – he loves Violet so much, he would do anything for her, they have each other now, yadda yadda.  GO AWAY she repeats, until he does.

Here’s where things intrigue me.  Tate played “stupid” about his own deadness for Violet’s sake.  Is Tate playing stupid about his own crimes, too?  Or is there something else going on here?  Twins are a recurring theme, in American Horror Story.  I am beginning to wonder exactly what it is about Tate that makes him not know the awful things that he’s done. Is it possible that Tate is a twin?  Is that why he’s not familiar with all of the horrible things that he’s done?  Is that why we haven’t yet seen Constance’s 4th child yet?  Is it perhaps… Ben who is Constance’s 4th child?  Work with me here.  The finale is certainly setting us up for some giant reveal, and that’s all that I can come up with.

Going into the Season Finale next week – here’s what we know:  Vivien and Violet are dead, reunited as loving Mother and Daughter in the House.  The ghosts have absconded with both babies (one may be ‘stillborn’… whatever that means in the House).  All of the ghosts seem to want one/both of them – but a showdown may be largely brewing between Constance and Hayden over the bigger/stronger/surviving baby.  Ben may have lost any last bits of sanity that he had – faced with the unreality of the House as well as the deaths of his wife, daughter, and newborn baby.

What will After-Birth bring?  Will Ben off himself to rejoin his family?  Will they even want him back?  Who wins in a fight between Hayden and Constance?  What the hell is going on with Tate?  Is the Infantata gonna be pissed that he’s not the baby of the House anymore?   Will the Harmon family still be around in Season Two?  Or will AHS move to a new home and start with new ghosts?  And for the love of all things female, will Vivien finally seek vengeance on her fucktard of a husband and make this viewer happy?

What?  A girl can dream.

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Don't let the day job fool you, this computer consultant knows the Ooky Spooky. De7en was weaned by Jaws, suffered through puberty with Carrie, and tore into adulthood hand-in-glove with Freddy. From foreign frights and classic cuts to gallons of gore and more extreme fare, De7en is always ready to dig into something fresh.