Merry Christm-ass!
You may remember our review from last year of Roid Rage - a film by Director Ryan Lightborn about… killer hemorrhoids.
Well, if you (like us) were just itching for more asstastically gory cinema – no fear! Roid Rage is back with a Christmas Special!
The film brings back Sammy – the once upon a time slacker who went from being an asshole to having an asshole that could take down crime.
Everyone knows - vengeance is a dish best served cold with a side of fiber.
Giant gold earrings - early warning sign of potential douchebaggery.
Sammy gets a call late on Christmas Eve from a mysterious partner – who informs him of some unscrupulous happenings in his hometown. According to the flick – Orlando, Florida is the place to BE on Christmas Eve if you’re a junky. It’s where all the snowmen (read: coke lords) hang – they lick buddhist midgets, force scientists to make them super crack, and get their rocks off playing Santa for all the needy Southern addicts. And thus our main protagonist is introduced (see bearded douche bag above) – him and his clan of creepy sword-wielding hockey ninjas. Because… why not, right?
He never saw it coming...
No worries though. If you’ve watched Roid Rage, then you know – Sammy already puts up with enough crazy crap – he knows how to put up with this kind too. Him, his hemorrhoid from hell, and the now revealed secret-partner, mini Mr. Clean unleash a crapload of whoopass on the ninja guards and the just-can’t-let-go-of-the-70′s drug lord himself.
Just as a warning – no oozing eye-ball props, matrix homages, or Mega Man jokes were spared in the making of this film.
Killer Hemorrhoids - spreading yuletide fear since 2012.
I have to say the original Roid Rage is still my favorite. But the cinematography definitely stepped up a little with this one – and it’s good to see Sammy get his shit together. I’ve always been one to root for the under dog. Even if his anus is arguably a portal to hell.
Check out the full short here:
