Nurse 3D (2013)

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Nurse 3D has finally hit select theaters and Video On Demand – and let me tell you? It was almost worth the wait. Almost. Nurse 3D is about a woman named Abby Russell who, more or less, is a nurse that spends her free time murdering men who cheat on their wives. She’s basically Dexter without the inability to truly embrace emotion, but with some amazing kill rooms and a great rack. So scratch that. Nothing like Dexter. Especially since she’s incredibly unbalanced and becomes more and more unhinged as the movie progresses. But we will get to that.

Abby works as a nurse at a hospital and has taken a newly hired nurse under her wing to “mentor.” And as any good mentor does, Abby drugs the new hire, has sex with her, and becomes incredibly obsessed with her. To a point that when Danni rejects her she murders everything that stands in her way. Including Danni’s stepfather (who in Abby’s defense is a dirty cheater himself) and eventually a hospital full of people. Abby is bat-shit-nuts. But fortunately for her, she’s also sexy as hell as she descends into madness. If you have to be crazy at least look good doing it, right?

Later in the movie we find out Abby really isn’t a nurse and that her real name is Sarah. When she was a little girl she walked in on her father cheating on her mother. And so she slit his throat, because that’s clearly a natural reaction. She was institutionalized and eventually adopted by a nurse named Abby – who it’s alluded that she later killed and assumed her identity.

Nurse 3D

And those are just some cliff note spoilers. There is so much crazy bloodshed and murder pinning it’s ridiculous. Although Paz De La Huerta (Abby) is seriously foxy as fuck and I kind of want to keep her forever (if she wears her nurse uniform, of course) . . . she’s a terrible actress. She may have nailed a sultry voice and walk but it was super painful to watch her attempt interacting with characters like Danni (played by Katrina Brown who really can act). Luckily, Danni and other supporting actors such as Boris Kodjoe (Detective John Rogan), Niecy Nash (Regina), and Judd Nelson (super, creepy, rapey Dr. Morris) made the movie slightly more palatable. But only slightly. I think if Nurse 3D stuck more with the original plot of murdering lots of cheating bastards rather than taking a nose dive into Abby’s obsession with Danni and completely running all over the place during and after that, it may have had more solid legs to stand on. I also hesitate to point out how incredibly gorgeous every nurse was in this movie because in reality? It just doesn’t happen that way. And if it did, I think more of us would accidentally stub our toes or cause minor car incidents to get in this place.

All in all, I would highly recommend this flick to anyone who just wants a sexy bloody movie and truly just that. It’s entertaining, it’s hot, but not as amazing as I hoped it would be. And the ending, albeit clever, was just a little too clusterfucked and messy for me. And that’s saying something. Nurse 3D is available through Video on Demand right now – so if it’s not at your local theater, check with your cable company to see who may be playing it.

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About Meg

Blond, bold and brainy. Already scared aren’tcha? When Meg’s not book learnin’ or arguing the anatomy of zombies – shes probably in the ocean, watching star trek, or forcing everyone around her to endure horror moviethons. Bruce Campbell? Her personal demi-God. Costuming, comics, charity work, college and a kidlet take up most of her time. But seriously, who needs sleep when you’re training the future generation of nerd? With great power comes great responsibility…..or something.