I watch a lot of horror movies. I mean a lot. So many that sometimes I’ll be watching a new film, either in the theater or an independent release, and I feel like I’ve seen that story before. Because likely? At some point I have. It may just have a slightly different spin to it than the last one. Or maybe a bigger budget or better camera angles. But at times watching the same story unfold over and over gets a little . . . boring. So when I was offered the opportunity to review President Wolfman I leapt on it. You see, from the get-go I knew that President Wolfman was going to be bad, BUT I also knew it wasn’t going to be like anything I’ve seen before. Director and writer Mike Davis utilized public domain footage and some ridiculous dubbing and spliced together a witty horror political comedy about what would happen if the President of the United States turned into a werewolf.
Yes, this film is silly. Yes I was incredibly confused through most of it, but I also haven’t laughed so much at really bad dubbing and 1970’s special effects before in my life. Each time the film had to substitute actors due to lack of usable footage from one film with actors who sort-of-not-really look like them because this other random public domain footage had the right shots to carry on the plot line I died.
President Wolfman is the epitome of a “so bad it’s good” movie. From start to finish, it’s a trip. For instance, the FBI warning at the beginning of the movie implies pirating not only results in a $250,000 fine – but also getting your face ripped off by your lycanthrope president. Ouch. And believe it or not, in the midst of the ridiculous raunchy dialogue and fantastic cameos (such as Abraham Lincoln offering sage advice on how to best utilize the blood of murdered children in adult artwork), there’s actually a plot.
During a faux-hunting trip (I say faux because President John Wolfman can’t shoot for shit), he manages to break some Native American hearts with all his slaughtering of nature and in turn get’s himself infected. But luckily for him as the President of the United States he has access to only the best medical minds ever who let him know that “he’s a fucking werewolf” and has been cleared for discharge. After that, it’s business as usual for Mr. President, except you know now he turns into a giant hairy man-beast with an appetite for blood and bodily organs. Despite the murder and mayhem life goes on as usual. Police do their jobs, beautiful women win pageants, babies are born (yes, you too can learn how to deliver a child simply by watching President Wolfman). Oh yeah, and China plans on taking over America. How do you ask? By drugging, burning, and other generally hostile take over methods.
So how is a president who can’t control his transformations supposed to stop China from turning the Statue of Liberty into a giant brothel (50 floors of fur burger!), eliminating our constitutional rights of freedom of speech, and literally destroying the U.S. of A as we know it? Some swift all American ass, kicking that’s how.
Do yourself a favor. Pick up a copy of President Wolfman, grab a bunch of friends and a couple of six packs, and prepare yourself for the most amazingly bad thing you’ve ever seen.